


Lines of Communication

by scatter



Category: Persona 4
Genre: Awkward Conversations, Friendship, Gen, Misunderstandings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-26
Updated: 2013-06-26
Packaged: 2017-12-16 05:16:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/858218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scatter/pseuds/scatter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's gonna take Souji and Yosuke a while to get used to this whole 'having friends' things.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lines of Communication

If Yosuke stood in front of the Dojima's door much longer, someone was going to call the cops, weren't they?

It was possible. Usually most exciting thing in Inaba was the occasional purse snatching, but two murders had everyone on edge, and it wasn't like he was the most popular guy in town. Lingering in front of someone's house would only raise suspicion. Just thinking about it made the hair on the back of his neck stand up and he glanced over his shoulder to make sure no one was watching him. He needed to knock already and get this over with.

And he would. In another second or two.

This was ridiculous. Worse, Yosuke knew that but he was doing it anyway. Who panicked over a few unanswered texts and ignored phone calls? Clingy girlfriends, that was who, them and losers. But he knew how this went. Hadn't Saki-senpai always been busy when he asked if she wanted to hang out after work? Hadn't the guys back in the city forgotten to include him in their plans, time after time?

Just because he'd ignored the signs last time didn't mean he couldn't recognize them.

And dammit, he liked Souji. He was a little spacey but he was nice guy, and even if they hadn't known each other for too long that hadn't stopped them from facing his Shadow together. Souji could have freaked out and ran away the way Yosuke'd wanted to but instead he'd talked Yosuke through it and saved him from getting killed by his own hang-ups. Afterwards they'd shook hands and promised to see the case through together, but they couldn't do it if they weren't on the same wavelength. If getting back on it meant Yosuke had to apologize and embarrass himself, well, that was fine. He could handle it, especially when the alternative was going through that again.

Because that's what would happen, right? Yosuke didn't claim he understood half of what was going on, like what was up with Teddie or why they were able to go inside TVs or why someone was trying to kill people, but even he'd been able to figure out what he was supposed to take away from his Shadow. He had to stop running away from uncomfortable stuff, to confront it head on like a man or whatever, and not let it fester until it all blew his in his face. And it would; if getting his own Persona hadn't been enough to show him that, he'd had to watch it happen again with Chie and Yukiko. When he thought of it that way, being scared of something like this was plain stupid.

But telling himself that didn't calm him down any.

"Come on," he muttered, finally fed up with his own indecisiveness, "just ring the bell."

He raised his hand and hesitated. Was that the phone ringing? It was, and almost as quickly as it started it cut off mid ring, no doubt because Souji was answering it. Great, he couldn't knock when he knew Souji was busy, it'd be rude, but now that he'd started to move, the idea of waiting any longer soured his mood. He spent the next minute kicking the ground, wondering how long he should wait and trying not to think too much about who was calling Souji.

"Is someone there?"

The sound of Souji's voice from behind the door made Yosuke jump and he stared dumbly at the wood. "Partner?"

"Yosuke?" The door cracked open. Souji peered out at him, frowning, and while he looked more confused than upset the expression still made Yosuke's stomach drop. "How long have you been standing here?"

"Uh, a minute?"

Souji opened the door wider and checked over Yosuke's shoulder. It took Yosuke a second to realize he was checking if he was alone. "Are you sure? Because one of the neighbors called and said someone suspicious was loitering in front of the house."

A neighbor, not a friend from school whose call Souji would take while he ignored Yosuke's. Yosuke was annoyed at his own sense of relief to hear that.

This wasn't off to a great start. "I guess I've been here longer than I thought." He didn't quite manage a laugh. "Sorry about that."

"It's okay." Souji waited for him to speak, but to his embarrassment Yosuke realized he'd forgotten how he'd planned to start this conversation. After a moment, Souji stepped back and gestured stiffly inside. "Did you want to come in maybe?"

Yosuke nodded. "Thanks."

He noticed the TV first, attention unwillingly caught by the Junes commercial playing on it, the jingle distinctive even at low volume. Souji's little cousin was watching it as well but the sound of the door closing had her turning to stare at them nervously.

"Don't worry," Souji said, seeing it too, "it's just one of my classmates. I'll call the neighbor back and let her know everything's okay."

So that look on her face was his fault. Great, now he felt like a jerk. But Souji's words were enough to reassure her and, with one last glance at the TV to check the commercial was done, she turned back to the table she was seated in front of. A closer look let Yosuke see the crayon in her hand with more spread out in front of her. Two stacks of paper had been laid out as well. "You busy?" he asked. "I can leave if I came at a bad time."

"Well, we're coloring," Souji said, but it came out more like a question, as if he wasn't sure whether or not that counted as being busy.

"Coloring. Cool." Yosuke couldn't remember the last time he'd colored something. Maybe it was more fun with a little kid for company.

Souji shifted on his feet, picking up on the lack of enthusiasm in his voice. "She's always sitting in front of the TV," he said, low enough that Nanako wouldn't hear, "and I don't know if she's really used to me being here yet. I'm trying to spend more time with her but I'm not sure...what do you do with a seven-year-old? Then I found some crayons--"

"Hey, it's fine, you don't have to explain yourself." Souji nodded, and it was Yosuke's turn to shift his weight. "Do you mind if we talk for a second? It's kind of important."

Souji didn't seem too enthused at the idea. Maybe he shouldn't have made it sound so serious, or maybe Yosuke's nerves were rubbing off on him. He really had to relax if he wanted this to go well. "Sure, just give me a minute. I want to make that call."

"No problem." As Souji headed back to the phone, leaving him to wander closer to the kitchen, an idea hit Yosuke. "Actually, do you mind if I wait in your room?"

Souji paused. It was kind of forward, Yosuke decided, but he didn't back down.

"I'm not gonna mess with anything," he promised, "but I'd rather talk about this in private, and it's better than hanging out in the kitchen, right? You don't want me in there, I'm not a good cook."

That got Souji to smile. "Okay," he said. "It's the one on the right, you can't miss it. I'll be right up."

Yosuke took a deep breath when he walked into Souji's room, holding it and then exhaling heavily. Waiting up here was a good idea. He really didn't want to talk about this in front of Nanako, and some time alone would let him collect his thoughts and loosen up so that he didn't make Souji anxious. He'd already gotten past the hardest part, coming here and telling Souji he wanted to talk, now he just needed to get on with the rest and clear the air between them. Easy.

Yeah, right. He blew out another puff of air.

To distract himself, he checked out his new surroundings. That was another perk of being in here - getting to see Souji's room for the first time, and if anything could tell you about a person, it was their room. He was immediately hit with the urge to start picking up and touching stuff but he'd said he wouldn't so he kept his hands where they belonged. There was, however, nothing to stop him from looking.

Souji's room had a different layout than his, and it was cleaner, enough that it looked sort of empty despite the furniture. He even had a couch, which was cool. All Yosuke had to sit on was a bed and a desk chair with a wheel that tended to freeze. Still, it didn't have that lived in feel that Yosuke was used to. Maybe he hadn't finished unpacking yet? But there were no boxes waiting in the corner and everything gave the impression of being exactly where it was supposed to be. Maybe he just wasn't the kind of guy who collected posters or threw socks across the room.

There was an open book on the table, though, laid out like Souji'd been flipping through it recently, and Yosuke made his way over to it, leaning over to get a better look. It looked like heavy reading; there were diagrams and charts and it read like a textbook, full of side notes and vocabulary Yosuke didn't know. Not pleasure reading, he guessed, not unless Souji was some kind of genius or more boring than he let on. Figuring he wasn't going to get any idea of what the book was about this way, Yosuke broke his self-imposed rule to check out the cover. He was reading the title - Leadership Through Personality: Forging Lasting Social Links \- when Souji walked in.

"Oh, I forgot I left that out." Souji carefully slid the book out of Yosuke's grasp, closing it and turning it over.

Yosuke straightened up. "It sounds interesting."

"I don't know, it's kind of...not really as helpful as I thought it'd be." Souji picked the book up again, turning it over, and flipping through the pages as if unsure what to do with it. He finally settled for putting it on his desk. With his back to Yosuke, he continued, "Honestly, it's just confusing me."

"Sorry you wasted your money then. You know," Yosuke added, "if you got it from Junes you should be able to return it. Even if you threw away your receipt, I could help you out."

"I'll think about that, thanks."

Yosuke shrugged. "So everything okay with the neighbor?"

At the change of topic, Souji turned to face him. "Don't worry about it, I cleared everything up. But could you do me a favor and not loiter like that anymore? It makes people nervous."

Yosuke felt his face go hot. "Sure. My bad."

Souji made a dismissive gesture. "You wanted to talk about something?"

"Yeah." Yosuke couldn't figure out what to do with his hands, which were starting to sweat. He crossed his arms and felt a little better. There was no comfortable way to start this, he decided, so it was best to simply cut to the chase. Souji wouldn't appreciate him beating around the bush and he didn't want to draw this out. "Look, I don't know what I did, but I wanted to apologize for whatever's got you mad at me."

Souji's brow furrowed. "Sorry?"

"I guess I should know what it is but I'm clueless." Admitting that made him feel stupid. If he'd done something bad enough to make Souji to avoid him, shouldn't he be aware of it? "Did I say something wrong or piss you off asking for that answer in class the other day? I know I can be kind of an idiot, but I'm not that bad, am I?"

"No," Souji said. "You're sort of goofy, I guess, but I like that about you. You're funny."

"Then if it's about my Shadow..." He hated thinking about that and mentioning it was enough to make him want to stop talking entirely but he had to address the possibility. "I'm not like that anymore, I'm getting better. Really."

Souji started to fidget, eyes darting around the room uneasily. If he was faking being clueless, he was doing a great job, better than any of the guys back in the city. "Yosuke, I'm not following you at all. What are you talking about?"

"You, the way you're acting." Yosuke waved a hand at him, frustrated. "We haven't really talked since school last week, you're not answering my texts or returning my calls--"

"Texts?" Souji repeated blankly. "What texts?"

Faced with Souji's confusion, Yosuke's voice lost some of its force. "The ones I've been sending you all weekend."

Souji dug a hand into his pocket. "I didn't get any... Where's my phone?"

He'd heard that before. Back on familiar ground, he asked, "What, did you lose it?"

"I guess so. I haven't messed with it in..." Souji paused and he must have not remembered because he didn't finish his sentence. "Well, whatever. Help me look for it?"

This wasn't going quite how Yosuke'd expected it to.

He'd been ready for excuses because outside of claiming he'd misplaced his phone in the TV, he doubted there was one Souji could up with that he hadn't heard before. Being invited to search for it was new, though. Yosuke watched as Souji turned his school bag inside out, spilling books and papers across the otherwise clean floor, before moving on to shake out his futon, even pulling his pillow out of the cover, as if his phone could have possibly ended up in there. This was no half-assed searched for the sake of appearance.

With an uncomfortable, nervous fluttering starting in his gut, Yosuke began his own search.

To be honest, he didn't put much effort into it, and it wasn't because he didn't want to help Souji get this cleared up. It was that, having been given permission to look through Souji's room, he was unable to resist taking advantage of it and the phone quickly took backseat to examining everything he could, from the titles of Souji's books to the paper he'd left on the floor. It wasn't what Souji expecting him to be doing, he knew, but what he hadn't known was that Souji owned books in Korean or doodled Izanagi on his schoolwork, and each discovery made him greedier for another.

Souji didn't talk about himself much; he liked listening to people, and that was great, but it meant Yosuke only knew half as much about him as he wanted. What was his last school like, where had he hung out, was this his first time transferring? Yosuke didn't know any of that, and if he could just--just dig through Souji's stuff for a while, maybe he'd get some insight without having to prompt Souji to reveal it. He suddenly regretted not letting Souji continue rambling earlier when he'd been talking about Nanako. It'd been a great chance to learn more about him and he'd cut him short. When was he going to hear him be that open again?

Flipping through an empty journal, absorbed in his thoughts, he suddenly became aware that Souji had stopped his own search efforts and was staring at him. Yosuke started to open his mouth but there was nothing he could say to excuse himself. He closed the journal.

"I'm sure it's not in there," Souji joked weakly. He held a shirt one hand from where he'd pulled it out of a drawer. "Maybe it'd be better if you tried calling it?"

"Right, good idea." The fact that Souji hadn't called him out only made Yosuke more embarrassed about what he'd been looking for - a note from an ex-girlfriend, or maybe a picture of old friends he could compare himself to - and he hurried to dial the number on his own phone. They strained their ears but there was no answering ring or buzz to indicate it'd been turned on vibrate.

"I might have really lost it," Souji said, running a hand through his hair in frustration. Yosuke recalled his thought about it being dropped somewhere in the TV and hoped he hadn't been right. "Maybe it's behind the couch? I haven't looked there yet."

It turned out to be in the couch, sunk down between the cushions Yosuke helped Souji pull up for lack of anywhere else to search. Souji brushed lint off of it. "It must have fallen when I feel asleep the other night," he said.

Yosuke left one of the cushions fall back into place. "What were you doing sleeping on the couch?"

"I feel asleep reading, I was still tired from being in the TV." Souji made to turn it on and Yosuke stepped closer, wanting to see the read times on the texts for himself and make sure they'd gone through. Souji glanced at him but didn't tell him to move away.

The screen lit up, flashed an image of an empty battery, and then went dark again.

"Ah," Souji said, "it's dead."

"When's the last time you messed with it?" Yosuke asked.

"I'm not sure. Wednesday? Because that variety show came on and I checked the time right before then."

"I've been texting you all weekend," Yosuke said. Longer than all weekend; he distinctly remembered sending a message out Thursday during his break at work. The fluttery feeling in his gut began to spread, turning into a hot, embarrassed flush that crawled up his neck. He was starting to suspect he'd overreacted.

Souji found his charger half-hidden behind the couch and plugged it into his phone. "I don't carry my phone around with me much."

Yosuke couldn't relate. He'd always kept his phone close by, waiting for a call or text, and had kept a tighter grip on it than usual since they'd exchanged numbers. "So, what," he asked, and damn if his voice didn't crack, "you're not avoiding me because you're pissed off about something?"

"No," Souji said. "If I was angry, I would have said something."

And Yosuke knew he would have. Because while he might have no clue about Souji's favorite color, he'd known for a while what kind of person Souji was - the kind that didn't hesitate to follow him into a TV even when all they'd had to help them make it back was a rope around the waist. A guy that did that, who didn't need a Shadow because he faced the hard stuff thrown at him head on, wouldn't give him the cold shoulder for no reason.

It seemed so obvious that Yosuke wondered how he'd managed to forget it and let his worries get the better of him.

They waited in an awkward silence for Souji's phone to charge until, unable to take it any longer, Yosuke stepped away, one hand rubbing the back of his neck. "You don't have to... Look, it's no use reading those messages now. You should delete them."

"Why?" Souji asked, glancing between Yosuke and his phone. "What'd you write?"

"Nothing," Yosuke said. "Nothing important, anyway, just a bunch of stupid stuff. It doesn't matter now."

"Sure it does." As if on cue, Souji's phone beeped.

There were five messages and two missed calls waiting, and Yosuke had a sinking feeling they were all from him. He'd known he'd tried to get in contact more than he should have, but seeing them laid out like that made him feel pathetic.

Souji stared at the numbers, expression unreadable. He had an older model phone, Yosuke noticed for the first time, looking hard at it so he wouldn't accidentally catch Souji's eye. Old but clean, like he didn't use it much.

"I'll delete them after, if you want," Souji said, "but you took the time to write them so I should at least see what I missed."

"I'm serious, it's just junk, but it's your phone, do what you want." Yosuke tried to sound as though he didn't care.

He wasn't surprised when Souji started to read them.

_Hey what are you up to?_

_Got some free time if you want to hang out_

_You busy? havent been able to reach you_

_Seriously call me when youve got a minute_

_dude are you mad at me? :/_

They were was no denying how whiny they came across as, Yosuke thought as he read them over Souji's shoulder, and the calls and this visit only made them worse.

"I thought you were avoiding me," he said, but it sounded like more of a lame excuse than an explanation. He wished he could sink through the floor. Maybe he could escape into the TV. Souji'd said he hadn't been able to fit but Yosuke bet he could manage it if he tried hard enough.

"I wasn't." Souji exited back out to his contact list, what there was of it anyway. Yosuke spotted his name, Chie's, Dojima-san's, an entry for his parents, and nothing else. No unfamiliar nickname that might have been a girlfriend or friend back in the city, and seeing that made Yosuke think of his own phone, full of contacts that never tried to get in touch with him. "I just never got into the habit of paying much attention to my phone."

Yosuke waved a hand in an attempt to brush the whole thing aside. "It's cool." He tried to crack a smile. "Guess I made a big deal out of nothing, huh?"

"I should have checked it. I knew you had my number and I didn't even think of it. But..." Souji hesitated and Yosuke knew what was coming even before the words came out of Souji's mouth. "Yosuke, it was only a couple of days. Why did you get so worked up?"

There was no way Yosuke was going to go down that road, not when he'd already made an idiot out of himself by coming down here. If he started talking about old friends, who knew where the conversation would end up, and he didn't want to say anything that might earn him Souji's pity.

"It's nothing," he said, "I panicked. You know, the case and everything, it's all got me on edge."

"Is this about...?" Souji didn't say finish but there was no need. Yosuke could see him making the connections in his head, and he flushed, wishing for a moment that Souji weren't so smart and that the thought of Saki-senpai didn't make his chest clench up until it was hard to breathe.

"I don't want to talk about that," he said.

"Okay." Souji turned his phone over in his hands, frowning down at it. Yosuke crossed his arms again and exhaled hard through his nose. He didn't start talking until he was sure he had himself back under control.

"Maybe I should leave. No use hanging around now that everything's cleared up."

"But we didn't really clear anything up, did we?" Souji asked.

"We did." Did Souji want to drag this out any longer than necessary? "Your phone died and I overreacted. What else is there to talk about?"

It was Souji's turn to look uncomfortable. He began to fiddle with his phone, snapping the lid open and catching it before it closed. "Well, there's the reason why my phone died."

"Because you don't pay attention to it," Yosuke reminded him.

"Right." Souji nodded. "But I don't pay attention to it because I've never had a reason to."

So, what, Souji wasn't a phone person? But he was acting too funny for it to be as simple as that. "I'm not getting it," Yosuke admitted. "Did your friends never call you?"

"I wasn't very close to anyone in the city," Souji said, setting his phone down, "or in any of the places before that, actually. Until I met you and Chie, I'd never put anyone's number in my phone because there...wasn't anyone to put in it."

If Yosuke understood right, this was a roundabout way of Souji saying he'd never had any friends.

That couldn't be right. Except Souji was certainly lending credit to the idea, the way he avoided looking at Yosuke and blushed like he'd revealed some big secret. Could he have meant he'd never had any close friends? Had they been through enough together for them to be considered close?

Either way, Yosuke had no idea what to do with this information.

"So," he said slowly, "none of this was my fault."

Souji plucked at a loose string on his couch. "Not all of it."

"And you're not avoiding me, you just haven't gotten used to..." Yosuke tried to find a way to word it without being too direct. "...being here. And stuff."

"Exactly," Souji said. "I've been so busy that it slipped my mind. Sorry."

And maybe Yosuke should think things through before he jumped to conclusions but he kept that to himself. He took a deep breath, a pain in his neck making him aware of how stiffly he'd been holding himself. "Okay. So we're good?"

"Yes. At least, I am if you are."

"I am." Yosuke didn't think they were going to make much more progress than that today, not without a long conversation he wasn't up for. Thankfully, Souji didn't seem interested in pursuing it either. "Great. I'm glad we got this figured out."

"Me too."

Yosuke let his hands fall to his side. "Guess I should get going."

"You don't have to," Souji said quickly, and then coughed, apparently embarrassed by his own forwardness. "I mean, we could still hang out."

The lingering awkwardness between them didn't make the offer any less appealing to Yosuke. "You sure?" he felt compelled to ask. "I thought you were doing a thing with Nanako-chan."

"I am, but you could join us. I'd appreciate the company," Souji admitted. "She's sweet but coloring isn't as much fun as you'd think."

Yosuke imagined it was exactly as much fun as he thought, but how bad could it be if Souji was willing to sit down and do it? "Okay, but I'm not finger painting."

Souji smiled. "Of course not, that's for next time."

Before they left, Yosuke asked, "Do you want me to help clean up?"

Souji glanced at his room as if he hadn't noticed how much disarray they'd caused during their search. His futon was spread out, school paper scatter nearby, and his drawers half-open, shirts spilling out. "No, it's okay, I'll just close the door so Dojima doesn't see it. Plus," he teased, watching Yosuke for his reaction, "you might get distracted by another journal."

Yosuke couldn't deny it.

"Was this as embarrassing for you as it was for me?" Yosuke asked as they made their way downstairs. "Because it sucked on my end."

"I wouldn't want to do again any time soon, but it's good to talk about stuff like this," Souji said. "Open, honest communication is an important part of forming long-lasting bonds. It shouldn't be uncomfortable because it's healthy."

Something about the weird way he said it made Yosuke ask, "Did you get that from your book?"

Souji nearly missed a step. "Yes," he said, flustered, and rushed to add, "but it's good advice."

Nanako was still at the table but left alone she'd completely abandoned her crayons in favor of the TV. Souji might have been onto something when he said she spend too much time with it, but she spotted them quick enough so at least she wasn't completely zoned out. "Are you done talking?"

"We're finished," Souji said, taking up a spot next to her and gesturing for Yosuke to do the same. "Sorry we took so long. Yosuke's going to hang out with us for a while, is that alright?"

"It's okay." Nanako took up her crayon again and dunked her head, suddenly shy. "Are you good at coloring?"

"Not as good as you. Your duck is cute." She smiled, and Yosuke checked out Souji's paper. "You too, partner, nice cat."

Souji sat a little straighter under the praise. "Thanks. Can you do a dog? We don't have one of those yet."

"No problem." It'd been years since Yosuke'd done anything more complex than scribbles on the back of his homework but he set out to draw the best dog he could manage. Its proportions were off but any disappointment he felt about that was wiped away when, seeing it finished, Souji and Nanako declared it good enough to join theirs on the fridge.


End file.
